The Company You Keep

When Katie Rae first approached me about providing some posts for her Wayward kin, we were chatting about the kind of content she was looking for, and I spent some time digging through her current content and groups.

The aspect of Wayward Company that stuck out to me is “the company you keep.” I’ve always been an introvert and a bit of a loner, though I was only lonely from time to time. As I get older, though, and life continues to be life and to do the things that life does, I see more and more value in surrounding yourself with people who not only love and support you, but get you.

Just last night, I entered our kids up in their very first “Lil Horns” rodeo. For a hundred different reasons, I entered all three kids in one event each. When my friend heard, she gave me the look, and said “Erika. Go enter them up. Someone will loan you a stick horse. Somebody can help Saige off her horse for her goat.”

My oldest has a disability that impacts her motor function; she looks great on a horse, but her own two feet are often her own stumbling block because of it. That was, indeed, a huge factor in why I didn’t enter her up in the goat tail untying, and then I figured if she was only doing one event, brother and sister should only do one.

I’m not the most assertive person, but at the behest of my friend, I went and found the rodeo manager (who was great and so kind and WILL be receiving a thank you; can we make thank you notes a returning trend this year?) and entered them up.

Ya’ll, my kids had so much damn fun. And the way my oldest giggled when I dragged her off Daddy’s big ol’ gray horse to go pull the tie off her goat? Priceless.

I get it, finding friends is so dang hard, especially as the pressures of adulthood creep in, when maintaining friendships can begin to just feel like another added pressure point, another thing you need to “do” or another thing to “fail” at.

It’s true that it takes time, and it takes some effort, and for us introverts, sometimes it means showing up when we would rather stay home. It’s worth it, though.

Hear me again when I say: it is worth it.

I’m a better mom because I have a friend who recognizes my tendency to doubt my own ability to handle stuff and tells me to do it anyway. I’m a better horseman because I have a husband who tells me to saddle the hell up, and, occasionally, hangs at the back of the pack in silent moral support (or, you know, to maybe call me an ambulance) while me and my horse have a come to Jesus moment. I’m a better person when I show up for my people when they need me, when I support their businesses or endeavors to the best of my ability, when I ask how they’re doing, when I offer whatever help I’m capable of at the time, even when I have to meter it with “but I have to bring the kids” or “I need to be home by six to cook dinner.”

Sometimes, you have to take the first step. Sometimes you have to be the friend in order to get the friends you want. Sometimes you get rejected or it doesn’t work out and that stings like hell. But, your people are out there, and they’re worth finding.

Maybe you can start here, start with us, the Wayward folk who are always pushing a little, or a lot, against the grain.

Let’s make community the art we breathe life back into.